Antioxidantes (Fiction)

It was a regular day at Joe's Family Supermarket. The baker was five minutes early, as usual, Randy, the guy who delivers the milk truck, was waiting in the back to unload his delivery, nothing out of the ordinary. Rodger had unlocked the doors and the early morning crowd began their shopping.

"Hello Mrs. Carrington," Lisa said, How are you doing this morning," as she began packing her groceries.

"Oh fine thanks for asking."

She didn't have to ask. Lisa already had paper bags prepared in plastic. "What are you up to on this fine day?"

"Well I'll be baking a birthday Cake this afternoon."

"A birthday cake? Well, gosh! Who's birthday is it?"

"My Grandson. He'll be turning 13." Mrs. Carrington let out a little chuckle, "His mother had told him the exact time he was born when he was younger and ever since he doesn't consider it his birthday until the clock marks the minute."

"Wow! He's quite a mathematician."

"Oh yes! He has it practically down to the very second. For Christmas he asked for a world clock that runs off of those, ohh, what do you call them?...Those Satellite things. Yes, that's it, Just so he could be more accurate in his calculations."

"I guess we both know what he'll grow up to be." Neither one of them answered that question, but they left that awkward moment be. The two old birds laughed together till all the groceries were packed. Then Mrs. Carrington was off and Lisa prepared for her day.

The day was going smoothly, nothing was out of the ordinary. The store had been remodeled five years ago and it hasn't been until the recent year that everyone had calmed down about the aisles being rearranged. The community was finally able to navigate themselves around the building, finding their groceries with little to no assistance, but there always was a confused customer here and there.
It was just about 11:30 when the general manager was to go on his lunch break. At this time the rest of the staff is to work diligently for the following hour as they're expected to step up in the manager's absence. Normally the staff is able to manage the store and have rarely faced problems they couldn't handle. Being a weekday there wasn't much difficulty to be expected.

A few moments after the general manager took his break, an eerie feeling began to creep in Joe's supermarket. The old woman who works in the seafood department got a chill. She's known to have psychic visions and has predicted other staff member's, and a few special customers’, fortunes. She's also known to be seen every now and then behind the building talking to cats rummaging in the dumpster. One of the cashiers who can barely speak English told us he heard her discussing a tax rebate for her alien friend. We don’t' know who to believe, but the following week we did see an article in the tabloid magazine's about Alien's paying their taxes for their residence in the Milky-Way. Regardless, when the fish lady gets chills it means trouble.

Not long after, gray clouds blocked the sun's light. The store grew dark. Suddenly a spark flashed by the entry door and smoke filled the air. As it lifted, draped in a black cape stood Zee-Abara, arch enemy and leading competition to Joe's Family supermarket.

"Ha, Ha, Haaaa! I am here to destroy you all!"

Women were screaming, babies were crying, pandemonium to say the least. The cart boy was running down the aisles screaming for his life, "The end is near. Oh God. What are we going to do?"

Zee-Abara created a whip out of a pack of Family-Sized Twislers and had already captured 3 section managers before we knew it; one from the deli, bakery, and hot foods. Groups began to form in the different sections of the store.

In the produce section they thought about tying him up with cornhusks, but there wasn't enough to make a strong enough rope since the sale that ended the previous day had cleaned Joes' out of their corn stock.

In the canned foods they thought of tripping him by rolling store-brand caned fruit, but the store-brand cans were all dented, and the vegan in their group didn't want to sacrifice the higher quality fruit. Dam Vegans.

People in the baking goods aisle thought about throwing packages of flour at him, but someone said that it was a stupid idea and they lost interest quickly.

People in the bread aisle were lost, as they thought bread's more enjoyable than it is painful. They weren't thinking since they could have suffocated him with the bags, but regardless.

People were being taken over by the half dozens. Zee-Abara didn't like dozens because of a bad experience with a baker and an egg truck, but still there was only so much that a family-sized pack of Twislers can do.

All hope was lost. The time had come where Joe's Family Supermarket would come to an end in the world of business. Zee-Abara had already tricked the policemen into collaborating the police with an endless supply of doughnuts. Joe would be forced to sign over his company in order to save the lives of his customers and trusty staff.

But behold! It is Mikey-Man. He has come to save the day. "Freeze Zee-Abara, for I hold in my hands Hershey's genuine chocolate syrup and I know how to use it."

"Ha, Ha, Haaa! You're a fool! Your Hershey's genuine chocolate syrup can not harm me!"

"Oh but you didn't know. This is DARK CHOCOLATE!"

"Gasp! How did you know? My one weakness is in the antioxidants of dark chocolate that the food and drug administration recently announced. Blast! If they had never made that stupid announcement I would be invincible."

"Save it for Sunbury you bread-head. You're going down and you know it!"

"We'll see about that."

With a twist of the wrist and excellent bagging skills, Mikey-Man dodged the liquorish whip and shot the dark chocolate syrup over the evil villain. Zee-Abara became paralyzed and landed straight into the Goya section where bottles of Tabasco broke open and finished the job. Zee-Abara was finished. Mikey-Man had won. And that's the end of that chapter.