Where are you today, that you couldn’t join the crowd; the people willing to share beyond the barriers of where their heart resides. Couldn’t you turn off the TV, or at least tease me till laughter about how I hate this show? You know, some of us could use a little entertainment of your body or your mind. Something to validate how lonely we are, but maybe if I had your hand on my hip, or your tongue in my thoughts, speaking a language so foreign to my complex needs, that I can’t even articulate between the discernment of desire or genuine need. So I’ll struggle instead, finding the roles of response, and the commander with the instruction book; but published and authored by whom?
My only sense of resolve is in the company of my oldest and most familiar companion that mirrors the ideal, but without ever saying what is actually so. I’ve told my friends about him, and their responses differ all the time; some wanting me to shut my mouth, while others will cheer, “Right on! Keep on fighting man. I can’t end my appreciation in finding such refreshment that there is another fighting like me. We haven’t won the war, but we haven’t lost it either. I’m so happy to see we’re on the same side.” Rarely do I say that I’m on anyone’s side, and I’ll find myself each moment indecisive of where to agree, because my real heart doesn’t care, and only wants to be close to another. It’s only when confusion runs through the community do I shout, “Everyone, shut up, for my words need to be known.”
Never, it seems, can resolve be found, and I find blank stares from American men, while I talk of responsibility. Every once-in-a-while do you find a few houselights on, but who wants to live in only the attic or basement? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are many romantic things that can occur in either location, but for now I’d like to sit with you joyfully, while together we can watch some TV.
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